Hello, all. Zippy here. I need to tell you about this crazy ass day I had the other day. For some reason, I was rustled out of bed early to go downstairs and watch those two monsters open presents. You know who the two monsters are, don't you? The ones that dressed me up in that stupid Mickey Mouse costume and harass me all day. Anyways, it turns out I got some presents too. That stupid, big female monster, I think she is the mother, put a wrapped object in front of my face and told me to open it. Like I knew what the hell I was doing!!! I'm 8 months old, Lady!! Anyways, I'm thinking there may be some good food or something in there, so I decide to open it. I was even hoping there may be some bitch in there for me so I don't have to hump my sleeping bag anymore. Anyways, what do these stupid people get me? A freaking pink elephant. They're all clapping and cheering and sh?t, and I'm just pissed. I mean, come on, a pink elephant. So they started to unwrap other presents and left me to myself. So I tore into the elephant, and I chewed her ass off. then I chewed off her face. They weren't even done opening presents yet and I had devoured her. That will teach them.
Sir Zipadelli
"You are all my bitches!"
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