Catch me if you can!!

What's happening, my peeps?

Lots of sleeping and licking me balls for me. OK. I lick where I think my balls should be, but they haven't been there in some time.

Anyways, I have a story for you from this weekend. I'm going to use Brad Paisley's song, "Mr. Policeman" to help me tell the story because I was thinking of it the entire time this was happening. The song is about him taunting a policeman to catch him in his 75 Firebird Trans Am. Let me set the stage.

The oldest of the little monsters had just got done taking me for a walk. I had been a good boy on the walk, but it was all part of my master plan. I knew I had her trust, so she dropped the leash when she opened up the door. And we're off!!

In case you can't figure it out, the words in italics are from the song.

Hey! Hey! Mr. Policeman. I bet I can drive faster than you can. Come on hoss let's have some fun, go ahead and shoot me with your radar gun, you look bored and I sure am so catch me if you can. Go on, turn on your bluelights (so pretty). you know you want to, I just flew by. I can see you peeling out, how my dust taste in your mouth, come on Smokey it's time to race. Let's have us a high speed chase.

Now I'm out of the yard and across the street. The daddy monster is out of the house and walking my way. I look...wait for it....I'm off!! Just like the song says, catch me if you can!! I race to the next street with the fat bastard in hot pursuit. Boy does he look pissed!! By now we're about a block away from the house.

Hey! Hey! Mr. Policeman. A chopper in the air and a couple of swat vans. That's no fair blocking the road, where am I supposed to go, time to use my back-up plan, catch me if you can.

There wasn't a chopper in the air, but now the mama monster is in the van with the smallest monster. They tried blocking me from crossing the street, but I was much too quick.

Hey! Hey! Mr. Policeman. I bet I can run faster than you can. With your big pot belly and your cowboy boots, a hundred bucks says you won't shoot. I know these woods like the back of my hand, catch me if you can!!

I stopped to take a leak and I let the daddy monster get close to me. I sniffed around so he would think I was occupied and not paying attention. I let him get close and then I was off!!

Go on, turn on your spotlight (so shiny). I've got running shoes and I'm younger than you and I've got all night. There's no way your keeping up with me, go on back to Krispy Kreme, If you want to quit I understand. Catch me if you can.

To my immense enjoyment, he ran after me. He chased me for 3 houses and then started to walk. I stopped and turned back to him thinking, "There's no way you're keeping up with me. If you want to quit, I understand."

It was right about now that I saw another dog at the back door of the house I was at. I figured I had some time, so I went up to the door to take a look. You never know, I might just get lucky with a hot dame. Funny enough, this is the part of the song where they just pick for awhile. And then, they pause for a second before they sing...

I'm in the jail house now. I'm in the jail house now. He told me once or twice, son respect my author-a-ty, I'm in the jail house now.

While I was screwing around with the other dog, the daddy monster was able to sneak up on me and grab my leash. I immediately knew I had been beat. He walked me home with my head hung low in shame. I was so confident, and the defeat was crushing.

If you haven't heard the song, go here and click scroll down to Mr. Policeman. Click on it for a free sample.